Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
So we were banging and she started puking all over my bed. I'm not sure what's worse, her puking, or that I felt the urge to start singing Flip-adelphia.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
period poops. best. ever.
omigod im sitting here with ben and he and i both got that...chick you totally just mass texted that...
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Everyone was trying to get you to do a keg stand but you refused & instead declared you could do it yourself, crouched on the keg in your 6 inch heels, leaned over, and gave yourself one.
In another note. Thanks for making me get a vibrator. For real.
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
I have in my possession one ukulele shaped package.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
