What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
Your kinda stuck between a rock and his hard dick on this one..
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
you yelled "who's job is it to keep me from breaking shit" and then immediately ripped off the molding as you fell down the stairs.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
It went alright, nothing too special, just got threatened with a knife by our server.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
