when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Just cropdusted the office
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
And then I saw the naval officer and gave up that whole new leaf thing
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
Something about a hand job in a car doesn't scream girlfriend
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
You continued to run around saying "free the nipple" while "taste testing" every liquor on the premises.
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
I think sunday funday got a little out of control. There is cheese slices and BBQ sauce all over the roof and 4 empty bottles of vodka in my room.
shit i just threw up on a freshman
i don't know if i should laugh or feel bad..
nevermind it was a sophmore, laugh.
Randomize
