I need to talk to you about an important matter involving lesbians.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
If you have a glass table... Put it up. I don't wanna hurt myself again, I just got my stitches out...
She told me about it right after. She said she was scared I would be disappointed. And I was, but I pretended not to be. Which pretty much sums up our relationship.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
Considering I drank for you last night, do you mind picking up your half of the hangover
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