let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I dont know why I dont listen to you more often. He wont stop texting me. And his signature is "dancing with no panties on"
i can't believe you bought a jetta. you know that's a girl car, right? if i hadn't had sex with you, i'd have no other proof you're straight.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Home safe. Psyche shattered. Still rolling. In love with the morrocan rug in the living room.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
is it fun? or sober?
I picked up a towel, and butt beads fell out of it.
Oh yeah... Surprise!
Randomize
