love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Since she's grinding up on your thigh right now, I'm sending you this text hoping it makes your phone vibrate in her vagina
She's like Mona Lisa when she's intoxicated. No one understands her but they all think she's marvelous
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
if i'm ever face-down on the ground puking again, promise me you won't try to braid my hair?
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
I just feel like I'm worth a little bit more than your recycled nudes...
I'm currently on an epic search all over the city for a drug store that isn't sold out of Plan B. I celebrated your birthday from afar.
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
I had to put my dog down, accidentally outed my brother, and was given a fucking fish sandwich instead of a Big Mac ALL IN ONE DAY! Am I really the person you want to consult for advice? Hhhmmmmmm?
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
