we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
Here. I am here. I do not know where here is but it includes condom balloons, a keg castle, and a shaved goat. Do not find me...I am in post blackout heaven.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
I just got this text "hi this is Julie, I met you last night in the bathroom. You asked me to text you and remind you that you ate an entire lime, because you figured your sober self in the morning would be confused."
He stood up, threw the bag of bud between me and Tory, yelled "Fight" and then ran upstairs for the pizza
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
hot boxing the bathroom at chili's. where the fuck are you, it's too big of a box for just one person.
Hostess is going out of business we'll never survive the apocalypse
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
Well, I'll handle this like I always do. Black the fuck out, make out with randoms, give out my number like candy. You know. Standard operating procedure
Randomize
