So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
It looks like the misc $300 credit card fraud might have been our taxi cab driver who wouldn't take boobs as payment. No wonder...
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
YOU ARE SO GOD DAMN LOUD AND YOU'RE SHAKING THE GOD DAMN HOUSE. FUCKING STOP.
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
It's like my uterus needs a hug... and anti depressants
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
There's something about a foam party that makes freshman want to turn their lives into full blown shit shows. And I'm ok with the fact I am one of those.
Randomize
