Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
but i really can't criticize. i blacked out waaaaaay ahead of schedule.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On my way, I hope you have alcohol for me to blame stuff on...
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
He locked about 20 beers in a suitcase and put it in the fridge. For a complete idiot, he's a goddamn genius.
Is it weird if I ask my drug dealer to prom? Be honest.
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
I'm very fluent in vodka, but that seems to be a whiskey dialect.
My little brother just suggested we drink the rest of the vodka because it's raining. My job is complete.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Is that strawberry winking at me??
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