I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
Careful when you walk in I'm laying by the door.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
where will you be at 9:30 tonight?
piledriving you in your roommate's bed?
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
She kept giving the uber driving directions and we all thought they were wrong so we'd send him the other way. Turns out she wasn't guiding us home, but to the half gallon that she hid in the bushes on the way to the bar.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Randomize
