Rylan was made in your driveway. Just thought, as godfather, you should know.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
Apparently, there is a horrible ghonorrea out break at our school. Woo! What a way for Loyola to welcome us back.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
Can I just say I love the fact that were in business with guys where I can write a hand job up hoes down text message
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My very favorite thing in the whole world is when guys try to booty call her as I'm fucking her. Sucks to suck.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
How was the tequila? Are you making bad decisions yet?
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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