I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
My friend's 9-year-old son just informed me that for a cop station, you can't use a shotgun; you have to use a machine gun. Thank you, Grand Theft Auto, for single-handedly corrupting our youth.
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
well, I suppose if I had to pick a penis to represent the american public, yours would be it
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Just had a guy dressed only in a towel ask me for a cig, hug me and kiss me then proceeded to pee of the balcony while still talking to me and callin me baby
i think i swapped my keys for drugs last night
I was giving this guy head and he stopped me to look me in the eyes and say "you have a gift"
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I've never had someone so bad at kissing. It was like he was trying to block my airway with his tongue and he succeeded...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
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