Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
The only thing i was looking forward to on 4th of july was the google logo and they let me down. That and beer, lots and lots of beer
Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Ya he's the booze devil, like if the black hole and Bermuda triangle joined forces with Captain Morgan
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
you were caressing the jar of pickles then you looked down and whispered to them "I want you inside me"
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
Look, all I'm saying is that you're going to be a great Vodka Mom.
Why r u in my phone under "the last survivor"?
You were only speaking with either thumbs up, thumbs down, or high fives haha
Randomize
