I wanna go to beed woth a nboy
i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I go to guys houses late at night, have a little fun, come back by dawn having made their life a little bit better. I am the official blow job fairy.
my hippie aunt just sent me some brownies with a note saying not to eat them under any circumstances until finals are over. excited.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
You fell out of your barstool, I tried to help you but you said if I got any closer I'd be drinking my meals through a straw, So there you sat.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
I've been timing it. He's been showering alone for 33 minutes. 4 minutes ago, he said "truth or dare." haven't heard anything since.
Fuck you, you can't judge me til you've smelt my boobs.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
If you can't accept me drawing a Santa hat on your penis then we can't be friends
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I was left to my own devices with nothing to do but drink
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