how hairy? two words: wookie tits
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
I'm crawling around naked in my room looking for my hairbrush. Just thought I'd put that image in your head.
Yeah. I realized I have a weakness for drugs and I need to move somewhere where I don't know how to find them.
currently taking a solo cab to the strip club at 1 in the morning. this is healthy.
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Only you two could pull off a partner swap with honeymooners
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
I will have to bone him sometime between now and July so he will move all my shit again
My mom wants to name our new dog the same name as my fuck buddy. This will be weird
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
I think I just received the most dignified proposition of my life. From the father of the bride. Who'd have thought.
Randomize
