Last night was an abortion. I might need a publicist.
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I swear my cock just shook it's head disapprovingly at me.
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
we were sitting in the bathtub when she came in with her grandpas cane adn beat us until lindsay passed out
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
I told him I had an IUD and he asked me how was a bomb a form of birth control..
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
he just asked me that if he was a penguin and I was a penguin if I would fuck him
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
