I give out O-faces like they're halloween candy
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
So what your saying is I can use her desperation to my advantage. Fuck, this must be how pretty girls feel.
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
