Stoned at DSW. SO MANY SHOES! THEY'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
I woke up this morning with 2 australian chicks passed out in my living room, a whole bunch of coke on my kitchen counter and I have no idea how the fuck either thing got there
sometimes i feel like my only option in life is to be drunk or be a cat. today i am drunk
Also yeah I would definitely have to say that one of my favorite things to do is to get high and pet cats.
Jesus Christ that hit just spoke to so many levels of my soul. It's caressing them softly
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
How do you explain to your kids that you met their mother well you were giving her a gynecological exam??
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
Randomize
