i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
if you were to get worldwide popularity from playing guitar with a plastic yellow bat while drunk on YouTube, would you hate me?
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
We decided to keep having sex while I ordered the pizza. I wanted extra pepperoooooooooooooni.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
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