She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
It was like inception, a dream, in a dream, in the back of a dodge charger.
You told the cashier at McDonald's not to smell the ones cause you had just got back from the strip club. Good deed.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
You ripped my pants off and gave me the choice use it or lose it what was I suppose to do.
I made him laugh his dick is mine
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
He said he broke his back in 3 spots & my first thought was "there goes my booty call".
Did u have a 2nd thought
I need a new booty call.
Randomize
