Haha oh wow he'd be perfect. He's got everything MTV looks for in a real world cast member. Gay. Tool. From Methuen
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
so i gave him head in the movie theater last night. thought we were alone til I heard the clapping from the other side of the theater after he'd finished.
Shut up. It sucks being the ugly friend, I would know, but someones gotta play the role
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Im part way to drunk.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i just really want to fuck a guy wearing lederhosen
it'll be sexier than it sounds, i promise
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