He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
Last night I ate the rest of the salsa with my hands. And i DONT have a hangover? Glorious.
The guy in front of me in lecture is using a fifth of smirnoff as a water bottle.
Nevermind, it's not water.
Hunting for men at chipotle... I feel like I should be more disappointed that this is the way my life is going but I'm really just excited for the potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Also, we just got yelled at by a cop for being awesome...or making out in a fountain. Whatever.
Her Grandmother felt me up AND paid for dinner. If she doesn't get her shit together I'm gonna be her Step Grandfather.
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Laying on a pile of just out of the dryer clothes because this is NOT real life.
The cops just came to this party I'm at and ate all of our snacks
Dude just crushed our bbq lays and told us to quiet down
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
Just so you know sleeping with you is like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
That's the most romantic thing I've ever heard
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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