sorry I missed your bday party.,I was vid chatting with that new guy I'm talking to all night...happy biirthday though
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You were high and telling me you felt like Pinocchio and that fire was bad for wood.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
It'll be a romanticized airport meeting until I'm judged for sitting on his face in the terminal
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
Well if you don't want to be kicked out before last call don't I would suggest stop drinking whiskey and don't call the giant bouncer with the neck tattoo "princess"
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
this is an emotional support booty call
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
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