At what point should shame kick in? Realising I had a one night stand with a man engaged or realising I am that man's wedding photographer?
test run with donkey pinata disastrous. broken glass and tequila EVERYWHERE
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Old lady caught me peeing in the street and yelled at me and said "I REBUKE YOU"
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
This is the high leading the old right now
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
fyi my negative pregnancy test is taped to the fridge...i'll take it over an A+ any day. be proud.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
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