I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
I started making my dollar bills into rings for the strippers
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I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
explaining to a nurse how i all most cut my finger off playing beer pong, she def just hand me a AA booklet.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
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Steve brought 6 joints and 2 bottles of makers mark, Josh shat himself in the pool, and Amy blew me. Hope that extra 3 dollars an hour for working overnights is still worth it.
The last time the Patriots won the Super Bowl I lost my virginity. I can only imagine what'll happen if they win this year.
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
so this hot guy who looks like brad pitt circa troy era in my physics lab is staring at me right now and it's taking all the willpower I have not to procreate with him right now.
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