I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
I vaguely remember telling people they were not trash cans
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
tried to order jimmy johns from the ER last night, the nurses did nottt approve
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll have sex with you for tacos. I don't care, man.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I accidentally told my mom I broke my drug nail this weekend
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize