I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
he shattered multiple jars of jelly against his roommates doors last night. this morning the asian one wouldn't even talk to him because he thought he was gonna get beaten up
we're all still whores. we just have a theme song now.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
Change of plans I'm coming home and shotgunning all the beer we have.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I'm jealous, curious, and aroused. All at the same time.
My job here is done.
What is your friends name that I hooked up with? ....I think j found his credit card under my bed
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
