Apparently at one point I was wearing my sweatshirt backwards like it was normal and then I threw up into the hood. Never drinking again.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
angela screamed across the room SHES A CHAMP when i told the pharmacist plan b doesnt make me throw up
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
fat people need to stop using the handicapped bathroom stall so I can have sex in it. it's common logic
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
So i just remembered that thing i use to do with your butt because of shark week.
The guy I hooked up with two weeks ago just friended me on Venmo, I honestly won't be mad if he pays me for the sex
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
Randomize
