Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
there is just no excuse for touching your mothers vagina.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
In light of your oncoming completion of twenty-three years of personhood, I feel a pressing need to blast country-pop phenomenon Taylor Swift's hit single "22" in your general direction until midnight.
its 3am and I'm taking a bubble bath, this is what taking a day off work at 30 looks like
Would it be wrong to text my ex and say "congratulations on the new baby that you had with a stripper"?
I want to be a supportive friend to her, but I also want to sleep with her ex now that he's single.
I know! It's like he knows when my vagina wants to misbehave!
Hey long story short Grandma needs bail money.
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