yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
fyi gin and iced coffee...not my greatest invention
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
If I don't at least start a parade that spirals into drunken riots then I'm calling it a fail of a birthday
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
Okay first of all fuck you and everything you stand for because Taco Bell is amazing.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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