I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
you were asking all the dicks on chatroulette if they had daddy issues
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
The secrurity code on my debit card is 420, can not lose this card.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Not only have I fallen off the wagon, it ran me over and just kept going...
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize
