And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
We've finally come to the understanding that as long as our conversation stays stricaly sexual, we get along.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
he tried to make a toast, but hit the moving ceiling fan with his beer instead
I think I might stay on campus instead of going home for thanksgiving and see how many townies I can hook up with and no one will be around to judge
So where are we on this whole, you write my paper...i do sexual favors situation?
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Attn every girl I've slept with in the past 26 years of my life. One of you cunts gave me herpes. This is the 4th of 5 group MMS. That's right. It's in the 50s. There are two girls I don't have #s for. One was on a cruise and the other was a prostitute in Amsterdam. So which of you has herpes?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
If I die at work, I want you to have my mustache collection
Honestly his girlfriend says she hates me cause she thinks im trying to get him to cheat on her with me...she should hate me cause i already accomplished that.
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