Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
There needs to be waaaay more alcohol in my apartment if I am going to survive being unemployed
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
Making a me burrito to ward off the cold...and the aloneness of my vagina
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
No dude. I can't think of anything LESS sexy than yodeling
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
I'm dancing with a sandwich I just made cause I'm so happy how delicious it tastes, that high haha
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