i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
My mind says no, but my body says yes.
What does your body say about chlamydia?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
Two chicks walked outta his room and all he did was beat his chest like LeBron and yell, "And 1!"
Just got referred to as "the girl from Tuesday night" at the Taco Bell drive thru...what happened on my birthday?!
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
It was horribly awesome. Its like looking at the sun, you know its bad for you but I just couldn't stop looking.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
