It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
I just delivered a ham and cheese to a strip club. you were right this job is not that bad
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you know what somber means? it's kinda the opposite of a kegstand
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
Plus I'm pretty sure you said "love you" on the phone, so technically I should be putting you on some type of probation
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
There is someone hissing in the hallway. Not even a typo. Not pissing. Hissing. Like a large cat. Or a komodo dragon.
Care to explain the single rose and the package of "Cowboy Moustaches" I found on the porch?
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
Bro I rebuilt the dungeon in animal crossing visit me
Broooo
Randomize