my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
Maybe if you date her you can take a dump on her
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
It's sitting in bleach right now. You will be the creepiest coolest dude in my book if you made a bracelet from my tooth.
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
I am one with the molecules
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Randomize
