Hello rock bottom. My name is Jared. Nice to meet you.
which gay bar do you need a ride home from?
Hurricane Earl: Get Blown party at my house friday! Byob: bring your own bitch/booze. Must have 80s blown hair style, kazoo/noise maker (vuvuzelas/airhorns are allowed), and/or bubble wands. \n
Why am I even shocked you're doing this....
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
As a member of the kink community, I feel grossly misrepresented
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