I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
He's drinking 50/50 vodka/water out of a camelback. Disaster would be a compliment at this point.
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm really high and I'm watching this show where Gordon Ramsay goes to other people's restaurants and just yells at them about things.
On another note, I feel like my vagina is slowly being peeled off with a rusty potato peeler.
But now I'm just thinking when he said he "worked for the airline" he actually meant drug smuggling.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
Randomize