Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
his eyes are fucked up, he bumped into the cabinet while standing in my office, and he's pounding chicken soup, and he must have chewed on 8 pieces of gum before he got here.
I pretty much envision me eating a turkey leg whilst fucking you. I have priorities.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I almost bumped into a man wrapped only in a blanket at 10 am
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
who has a one night stand on Christmas ? But he's pretty attractive so thumbs up
So I just went to clothing optional bar
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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