He kissed a someone with a penis
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
so today in my theology class we brought up the proper way to have sex. so rough sex was said by the teacher...I said I know a girl that likes to be choked. sorry but everyone knew it was you
there are 10 yearolds here who keep calling me on the elbow rule!
Wait are they playing beer pong to?
I woke up exactly where I passed out... on top of him yet he somehow put his pants back on
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
She just told me she had a double jointed jaw and winked at me while eating her bananna. That's not possible right?
I think I reached some stage of aging, have a sore/injured shoulder from sex, next up carpal tunnel from sexting.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
After 2 minutes he came and said, "thanks for everything". I can't wait to hear what he says next time when I do more than just lay there.
Randomize
