he rolled over in his sleep, called me a hoe and then grabbed my crotch. some things never change, asleep or not.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
This hobo said he can't buy alcohol bc he got in trouble bc a girl sat on his face when he was passed out and misaligned his spine and gave him Alzheimer's so Ali is buying him a bottle. This is Vegas.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
Btw I don't have words to express my appreciation at how many times you've had to be on a dirty bar bathroom floor for me in the past two weeks
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Well, let me first tell you that jack and cokes were ONE FUCKING DOLLAR.. It's like the club wanted me to make poor choices.
Randomize
