You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
why didn't you poke me back
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
Showing up at the grocery store at 5am to have the clerk sprint to the condom cabinet waiving the keys because you told him to hurry it was an emergency
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
Randomize
