Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
if i get the "i'm engaged" text one more time, i'm going to shoot myself in the face so my cats won't eat it when i die alone.
Her facebook status is 'PERCS ON DECKKK~' which is probably why she still lives with her parents.
So....maintenance found the bullethole.....
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
Second night spent with creepy guy. I either need to change his nickname or stop doing this.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.