Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
2 showers later and I'm still finding cum on random body parts of mine
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
And fyi howling is not an acceptable form of communication.
i spilled a box of white cheddar cheezits on the bathroom floor about 2 days ago. when i went back to the house he yelled at me from the bathroom: "THANKS FOR THE CHEEZITS, I'll ALWAYS HAVE A SNACK FOR WHEN IM SHITTING NOW!"
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Just woke up in a Price Chopper bathroom stall with a half eaten cake on the floor. Had to get a ride from the waitress I made out with. What happened to "Don't let me drink Tequila?"
I lied.
Randomize
