this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
Mattress luging...It's a long story.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
So when's a good time this week to show up at your apartment in nothing but a trench coat and a bow? Y'know. Hypothetically.
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
Don't take a pillow from my bed. You don't know which ones of them my vagina has been on
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
