i just wanna soil my oats bro
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
she's just sitting in a corner ripping all of the filters off her menthols
Phosphoglyceraldehydration... why the fuck is this a word
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
i almost set my kitchen on fire last night. homecoming week is getting the best of me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
The sun is so bright. Whhyyyyy. EYES ARE DEAD.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am too young to be this hungover
Is this your way of saying you want a sober 19th?
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I spent the whole ride asking the cabbie if people ever have sex back there, and if he wanted me to make that number one higher.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
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