Her life has all the ingredients for a how to book: Making Your Life an Epic Fail
my debutante medallion kept hitting his balls when i went down on him
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
My mom just asked me if I can obtain a fake ID by thursday
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
What did you spend the night in her closet?
She said she was saving me for breakfast and locked me in there
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
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