I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
I dont know. Theres no way you can be ready for the sex hurricane that will consume you.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
So ran into your ex from sophomore year last night... Apparently hes gay and a stripper now. we all got lap dances because we knew you
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Haha, maybe if he wasn't dressed up like Kimmy Gibler he could give her the D
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
I just laughed so hard that my back cracked so hard that I thought I was cumming. Magic
I found a loose wire in my thermostat. Couldn't find the pliers, so I used a nipple clamp to fix it.
You know I was thinking and I've never seen a penis in a whirlpool before
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
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