i had just passed the point of no return when my mom opened my door. I hid my dick and took the porn off the computer in time but i still had to explain my day at school to her WHILE i was jizzing in my pants.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
i'll prob lay in bed. its weird not having to track my wallet down, its become such a weekly habit. i suddenly have so much free time
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
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