yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
so he came on my face and then proceeded to say "that was just how i imagined it would happen"
where do you find these guys?
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
Matt says that there are strip club auditions in our living room and he'd like you to audition.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
I got bit by a peacock. That's how hard shit went down last night.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
I think I just sharted jello shots
And tell your penis that we can hang out tonight for sure.
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
Randomize
