Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
I hooked up with a Michael Jackson impersonator last night. Too soon?
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
May I the honors of taking your dick tonight?
The honor would be all mine.
Randomize
