that's an acceptable place to lick
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
No piss test, hell yeah
FALSE ALARM. PISS TEST. I NEED YOUR PISS.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Imma do four shots of whisky within two minutes and pass out. Otherwise this'll go badly.
I'm glad he doesn't have a bigger dick because he'd just use it for evil anyway
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
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