I'll collect that couch/porn sloopy beedge tomorrow just FYI
do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Dude I'm 99% sure I'm witnessing an e-harmony date at panera, prob late 40's, this is better than the movies.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
there were staples in my comforter. what kind of sex did we even have?
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Being at this stripclub only reinforces how single I am. And I was *just* becoming okay with that.
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
I woke up snuggling a bottle of water while Hercules played on Netflix. Whiskey Wednesdays
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
Randomize
