I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I twisted my ankle last night doing a super high five with 3 inch heels on.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
i would really love it if at least once per weekend i did not wake up to you half naked passed out on the floor
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
FYI your bra is now hanging in the hallway as a trophy.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
He was nothing but deer-caught-in-headlight eyes and dick, it was adorable
I got dropped off at my house at like 1030. Woke up hugging a street cat I've never seen before. Ended up drinking 260 oz of beer. 65 types. Then went out after blehhhhhh
I hate men. But I love dick. You see my problem?
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
Randomize
