Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
you'd think with how big her nose is she'd have a better smelling pussy..
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
I'm not sure how appropriate a drug deal is while at a wake.
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
A man and his most likely hooker just bought us Taco Bell.
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
The night before doing drugs with your bro is like Christmas Eve that made love to thanksgiving that made love a virgin.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
Like you haven't hit rock bottom until you have had to throw your own turd out a window
Randomize
