I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
OMFG BINX FROM HOCUS POCUS IS MCGEE IN NCIS!!!!!!!! most. epic. realization. ever.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
May 25th. Drunk Laser Tag party to celebrate our bdays. May 26th. Mushrooms at Chattanooga Aquarium. Damn
She flashed them and they let her pay with Monopoly money. I'm married, so it is your obligation as my best man to repeatedly fuck her for me
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I'm eating cheesecake with my hands completely naked while falling asleep
Cause I know you wanna ride the D like a Vespa in ROMAN HOLIDAY
Please tell me im imagining that i claimed that i was king of the ducks.
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
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