ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
You haven't puked in my sink in over a year.. Youre coming over this weekend
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
My vday gift was a joint bouquet, Finding Nemo on bluray, and a good shower fuck.
Um, WHAT A FUCKING KEEPER!
she stole my Timberlands and my Sublime shirt and left her heels and bra. this is war
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Not only is he funny, he had a REALLY big dick
He's old enough to be your father!
REALLY. BIG. DICK.
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