I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
He just called shotgun on the way to the squad car.
Your scrotum should have touched every square inch of that place by now. Start with the water fountain.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
It's just weird. It's like Big Bird dating Meg Griffin.
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
Just go to your happy place. Mine is with Jake Gyllenhaal & schnapps
Jungle juice turns everything into a pickup line. All I said was "do you play chess" and somehow I got laid.
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Randomize
